Just LIFE

I'm still very sad and out of sorts, so to say.  Sugar was such a part of my routine, I still look around for her.
But I know she's okay and must continue on with my life. DAVID called to cheer me up and make me laugh, and always reassures me that he is doing well, And how much he appreciates and is strengthened by visits every week-end.  Brandi brought me some beautiful Lillies to help cheer me up and they smell wonderful.  I didn't realize how good they smell. Sweet, little Patch is a good buddy and always comes around me to cheer me up too.  
I received a surprise package in the mail from my sister, RONNA.  Four colorful PINWHEELS!  I love pinwheels. They make me HAPPY. (my picasa pictures are down so I can't download a picture YET.)
The world just keeps on going.  I have so much to be happy about and thankful for.  I really have no reason to be unhappy or sad, yet some days I am.   I think to myself, why?  Why just under the surface I'm anxious and overwhelmed. I wonder if it's a chemical imbalance? A nutritional deficiency?  A mental problem?  Or, all of the above.  Sometimes I have 'stinkin thinkin'.   I feel like I don't deserve to be happy.  That I deserve to be miserable.  Intellectually, I know that is NOT TRUE, but it's something I struggle with all the time.  I read the bible and positive books, .....blah, blah, blah.  I know the drill.  But, still,  I'm human and today and  tomorrow I'll do something positive for myself.  I read from the bible.  I said my morning prayer.  I went outside and walked Patch and got some sunshine and Vitamin D.  I juiced my vegetables. Kale, parsley, celery, spinach, ginger, carrots, and an apple.  Drank large glasses of lemon water and some detox tea, and now I'm going to the gym. YIP-EE!  So, I'll put a smile on my face and try to say positive affirmations to myself.  Haha.