rough few days- horrible, wonderful, horrible...

 I'VE been watching the Senate judiciary committee hearings on Solitary Confinement.  On one hand, I'm grateful that slowly, some legislators are listening and helping bring these horrific conditions to 'the powers that be' attention.  On they other hand, it's emotional draining and hard to hear.  I am glad that some are listening.  I get some satisfaction knowing that I'm trying to help so many inmates that have no voice.   So many people in our society turn a blind eye to this problem, of the inhumane treatment of so many of our loved ones. (2.5 million inmates. 80,000 in solitary confinement) It's hard for some to realize that our 'Get tough on crime' mentality is just not working out too well, and we need to re-evaluate some of our decisions and revise some of these policies that are dehumanizing and unsuccessful. For every inmate there is a mother, wife, child, brother, sister, etc. affected too.    I re-post on my personal Facebook page to let my friends and family know what is going on behind those walls and what I'm trying to do to change our prison.  I also have a separate public blog where I post things about prison reform, and mainly just my family reads it. Anyway, it's just a small way that helps me, feel that I'm doing all I can for our loved ones behind the wall.  In saying this, I have to struggle with the depression, anxiety, and fear that goes along with it.  Sometimes those feelings come  out and are misdirected and affect my personal relationships. I withdraw because I know they can't completely understand and it's just more overwhelming and hard to explain to them.  I try to keep my anxiety, frustration, and constant worry hidden behind my smile and concentrate on my gratitude for so many blessings in my life.  I try to be 'present, and in the moment' with my loved ones, and  I do most of the time, but I have days where I have to allow myself to feel my feelings, and then catch my breath, and ask God to help carry this burden with me, (and he always does.) And then I get up.  Keep moving.  Stay positive.  And "put my shoulder to the wheel and push along."